Parents sometimes don't understand- yep, you got that right. They want to, but they can get in their own way. They hear their own parent's warnings in their heads or they are so focused on YOUR safety, that they forget to LISTEN to what you are saying. They try, but they need your help.
Tell your parents, "Will you just stop for a minute. Just listen. My turn." And then give them your comments, calmly and with an adult tone.
The best way to communicate with your parents is to remember: RESPECT.
R: Reveal your feelings. This might be hard but you need to make them understand how YOU feel. Say, "I feel this way because..."
E: Eye Contact. If you're talking and the other person is looking away or fiddling with something, they aren't giving you their complete attention. They may not remember what you said. Make sure the person is giving you their complete attention. This is best done with eye contact.
S: Stay Calm and speak softly. Someone might say something that pushes your buttons. Don't react by attacking the other person verbally. They might attack back and then an argument follows. Instead, speak in a quiet, controlled voice. Have you ever noticed that when you speak softly others need to give you their attention to hear what you are saying? Speak softer than normal, but not a whisper. Once you have their attention, they'll listen.
P: Put Yourself in the other person's shoes. In the situation, would you have reacted the same way? If yes, tell them, if no, tell them that also. This let's the other person know exactly how you feel.
E: Exercise Your Ears. Really listen. Listen to the tone your parents use when they speak to you. Were they actually worried about you? Angry? Trying not to cry? Be aware of what is really behind their words. Also pay attention to body language. People speak with more than words.
C: Choose Your Words Carefully. You want to say the right thing, give the right impression. Take a minute to think before the words come out of your mouth.
T: Treat the Other Person as You Want to be Treated. Everyone deserves to be heard, to be able to express themselves. Give your parents a chance to speak as well. What they have to say is important to them, just as what you have to say is important to you. This is the true meaning of respect. ©Kimberly Kimmel
Tell your parents, "Will you just stop for a minute. Just listen. My turn." And then give them your comments, calmly and with an adult tone.
The best way to communicate with your parents is to remember: RESPECT.
R: Reveal your feelings. This might be hard but you need to make them understand how YOU feel. Say, "I feel this way because..."
E: Eye Contact. If you're talking and the other person is looking away or fiddling with something, they aren't giving you their complete attention. They may not remember what you said. Make sure the person is giving you their complete attention. This is best done with eye contact.
S: Stay Calm and speak softly. Someone might say something that pushes your buttons. Don't react by attacking the other person verbally. They might attack back and then an argument follows. Instead, speak in a quiet, controlled voice. Have you ever noticed that when you speak softly others need to give you their attention to hear what you are saying? Speak softer than normal, but not a whisper. Once you have their attention, they'll listen.
P: Put Yourself in the other person's shoes. In the situation, would you have reacted the same way? If yes, tell them, if no, tell them that also. This let's the other person know exactly how you feel.
E: Exercise Your Ears. Really listen. Listen to the tone your parents use when they speak to you. Were they actually worried about you? Angry? Trying not to cry? Be aware of what is really behind their words. Also pay attention to body language. People speak with more than words.
C: Choose Your Words Carefully. You want to say the right thing, give the right impression. Take a minute to think before the words come out of your mouth.
T: Treat the Other Person as You Want to be Treated. Everyone deserves to be heard, to be able to express themselves. Give your parents a chance to speak as well. What they have to say is important to them, just as what you have to say is important to you. This is the true meaning of respect. ©Kimberly Kimmel
